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Blinksmas: The Cass, Ado & Santa Show

by The Van Bloom Brothers

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1.
On My Sleigh Again 02:24
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Verse 1 I took it out, early on Christmas night I checked the load, make sure it's all on tight I double-check my route, put on my flying pants And take off high above the sea Chorus With just my trusty reindeer and a sleigh with me Putting the presents underneath the tree Straight down the chimney and back up he goes The children they will never see They find the gifts on Christmas day On my sleigh again On my sleigh again Verse 2 Locator on, to find the right home Circle around, to find a landing zone Set down on the rooftop, walk through the snow and hail To make it up to the chimney Chorus And squeeze my sack right down the hole so gracefully Don’t wake the children no they can’t see me Wake in the morning singing ‘Deck the Halls’, Jingle bells and then Frosty Open the toys and start to play It’s Christmas Day again It’s Christmas Day again Chorus And that’s the reason you should always play nicely You get no presents if you’ve been naughty And I’ll be watching all throughout the year I’ll see you, you won’t see me I’ll notice if you misbehave So be nice to your friends Yes Christmas is a time for positivity Overindulging in festivity And at the church you get to drink red wine Thank Jesus for nativity And even though you’re underage You get shitfaced again It’s Christmas Day again
2.
First Date (of December) 02:48
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Verse 1 December and I just can’t wait Put the tree up start to de-cor-ate The time of yule, and I’ve got it planned Christmas songs, and I think it’s time to dance Take delight in my festive flair I confess that it happens every year I’m prepared, take it to the brink It’s just me versus Trevor up the street Chorus Let’s go, create Christmas light take over Promise, to make My lights out shine Trevor’s Forever, endeavour To Make my lights much better Than Trevor’s, than Trevor’s Let’s make my lights much better Verse 2 I compile all my lights outside Feeling nervous ‘cos I think some might have died I flick the switch and I think I’ve blown the fuse A careless mess now I don’t know what to do This could turn into my demise Gotta think quickly and improvise I remember my inflatable Chris… Mas decorations and I hope they’ll be a hit Chorus Let’s go, inflate Plug in the compressor Oh no, it breaks Guess there’s too much pressure I’ll never, be better Than my old neighbour Trevor However, I’m clever I’ll think of something better Chorus Oh no, it’s late Christmas almost over I’m still, awake Sneak down the road to Trevor’s I’m clever, I’ll sever The power supply to Trevor’s I’m clever, I’ll sever The power supply to Trevor’s December, I’ll render His light display dismembered So I’m a, contender I’ll cheat, lie, not surrender
3.
Scammit 02:44
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Verse 1 It’s not right, to sell me A dying, Christmas tree It should be, a dark hue Not light brown, like fescue I know you’re, deceivin’ My money, you’re seizin’ Your reason, appalling Get richer, by causing frowns Verse 2 I call up, your workplace Tell your boss, of my case And I’m at, a juncture Should I just Instruct her It’s too late, to transport A new tree, to my door A refund, I’m claiming Your business, I’m shaming now Chorus And it happens now and then A bad review I penned Of businesses I canned Goes better than I’d planned It’s heartless and it’s wrong, But it doesn't take too long To bring a business down Well this review is going up Well this review is going up Verse 3 And say we, believe you And you’re truly, naive to The corrupt-ted supply Well that might, justify A restyle, where I’ll praise And commend, and convey All the ways, and how fast The refund, you gave me back Chorus And it’ll happen once again, I’ll change my mind and then I hope you’ll understand I’m now your biggest fan Though I was hell-bent on Making your business gone But now I’ve changed my tone My Christmas karma's going up My Christmas karma’s going up Sorry for calling you corrupt And that your charity’s made up Dragging your name right through the mud I sometimes get a bit worked up
4.
I Mis(letoe) You 03:46
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Ho ho there, The angel on my tree there The tinsel that is wrapped around the dog The ornamental napkins And snacks come from the deli Bought to fill our festive bellies and egg nog, That’s mostly made of brandy Toast the Nazarene on Christmas And tonight we’re all amongst our friends We’ll wish this never ends Mistletoe, Mistletoe Mistletoe, Mistletoe Verse 2 So far you, haven’t touched savoury, Been eatin’ sweets, not eatin’ cheese tonight Like everybody just always Only picks their favourites I’m topping up, the cheese is left behind Lucky it was discounted A shame about the ciders Buying them, I had to pay full price But that decision was awful When I know this is the season When we’re prone, to something from the vine Where’d I put the wine? Chorus Misplaced, the wine, you see, I’m not, ready Enjoy the cheese instead (Mistletoe, mistletoe) Misplaced, the wine, quickly, is there, anything moist that goes with bread? (Mistletoe, mistletoe) Chorus In haste, I’ve found, the pi-not, already Rejoice, we’ve got the red! (Mistletoe, mistletoe) Now taste, white wine, the rei-sling, is leggy You want Rosé instead? (Mistletoe, mistletoe) To match, your tea, the main is, spa-ghetti The choice is white or red (Mistletoe, mistletoe) Don’t waste, the wine, on me, I’ve already Rejoiced I’m off to bed

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released December 23, 2022

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The Van Bloom Brothers Melbourne, Australia

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