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The Corona Christmas

by The Van Bloom Brothers

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1.
Oops Covid Hit Again 03:32
lyrics
Ho ho ho ho ho ho Ho ho ho ho ho ho I think it’s Christmas again Maybe Christmas eve, I guess it depends Oh baby Shopp-ing centres no rush But what does it mean? So mysterious Is it just too expensive? Or happening globally? Pandemic maybe? Oops Covid hit again, A Christmas apart, no it's not the same Oh baby, baby Santa in rubber gloves Will it be enough To stop that pandemic. Thinking of my perfect gift A dream some would say Wishing a vaccine would finally exist Santa comes on his sleigh With doses for all, but that’s not the case... My immune is defenceless So we’ll celebrate virtually On wifi, baby Oops Covid hit again, Santa in a mask, No it’s not the same No turkey baby How will my one true love Send two turtle doves? And a partridge in a pear tree Ho ho ho ho ho ho Ho ho ho ho ho ho Ado, before you go there’s something I want you to have Oh, a mask. But wait a minute, isn’t this? Yeah, yes it is. But I thought it was caused by 5G and Bill gates, not airborne particulates? Well in that case, let’s get back on the beers with our mates. Well, what’s the worst that could happen? Oops Covid hit again off the charts Jack Frost, fun and games are cancelled Curfew, wearing masks and rubber gloves To stop that pandemic Oops Covid hit again, A Christmas apart, no it's not the same Oh baby, baby Giving hands a good scrub Is hard wearing gloves What a predicament! How’s he gonna get in, Keep six feet apart, and leave candy canes Or presents baby Santa in rubber gloves Will it be enough To stop that pandemic
2.
House Being Quiet 03:57
lyrics
Santa is coming to town At long last, this year passed I’ve been homebound Spent lots of time in bed, barely seeing my friends I have been avoiding crowds Lockdown lifted No excuses But now I wonder... If I’m alone on Christmas night Do you think I would really mind? Cause I’m so used to the house being quiet Could I just not see you…...tonight? It’s always times like these All you want to do Is spend time with your friends and family But my hair is growing long, haven’t cleaned my home Let alone myself and I am quite stinky No more curfew No reason not to But I need slumber If I’m alone on Christmas night Do you think I would really mind? Cause I’m so used to the house being quiet Could we just talk on zoom….tonight? And I, I, will need some mistletoe I, I, can’t say I’m too busy I, think, fashion I must forgo I, I know Making my way downtown, Walking fast, face aghast, in my nightgown Stopping to buy gingerbread, shaped like a sleigh Quickly pay and I’m homebound Had no food to Entertain you And I still wonder Why did you call, to ask if I Would mind if you, came round tonight When you know I would just nod and smile Even if I don’t want you... To come at all, I’m really fine To be alone on Christmas night With my clothes strewn ‘round the house in piles Would have been nice to do If I wasn’t taught to, be polite
3.
Crossed Off The Will My Name Goes 03:57
lyrics
Corona, the data, germs on wrapping paper Keep your distance, from brudda, your sister and your mama Embargos, and vetos, on hugging to say hello. December... After Hannukah trees, start to glisten in the snow And the carollers are finished decking the halls. Mum made her demands, but its too late to start making plans I’ve been stalling enough, but the physical shops are unmanned Ebay is where I must go Corona, the data, I’ll look at it later On computer, I’m gonna, find presents for my mama In cargo, through Heathrow, Moscow and Tokyo (Oh I’m gonna pay more for the express post) Hope it gets here fast so I can wrap it slow Tie it up in a bow, put under mistletoe Online, boutique, deliver by midweek I’ll clean the chimney, and decorate the Christmas tree But no surprise, can’t deny, post system’s at capacity But to my delight, Tracking shows it might arrive ETA tomorrow night, pray a logistical perfect flight It’s redirected, oh no Corona, the data, I’ll look at it later On computer, I’m gonna, find presents for my mama In cargo, from Heathrow, it’s stuck in the depot Oh I shoulda paid more for the express post? So it would get here fast but now it is too slow Pay the postman a quid pro quo, to get it here tomorrow Bought, nice things, but now she’s getting lynx Present didn’t show, now I’ve got nothing to bestow But if, I can just go and get my way to the mall Got plans and cash to blow Corona, the data, I’ll look at it later On my scooter, I’m gonna, buy vouchers for my mama From Target, Home Depot, maybe even Costco Oh she’s gonna hate it but she won’t say so See disappointment flash, but then she’ll say thanks though She’ll make a mental note Crossed off the will my name goes Corona, it made ‘er, get her calculator On computer, she’s gonna, send emails to her lawyer “Ricardo, do you know, how to change my will though? “Give all, of my dough, to Cassidy not Ado Corona, the data, germs on wrapping paper Keep your distance, from brudda, your sister and your mama Embargos, and vetos, on hugging to say hello. Keep your distance, from brudda, your sister and your mama
4.
Covideo Killed My Christmas Snack Bar 03:32
lyrics
I’ve picked out all my playlists and my Christmas food With some fruit cake, and presents, decorations too A merry day together surely will ensue H, a ho Tidied the house and spent a lot of my money On roasted chestnuts, then revised theology The birth of Jesus is a cause for revelry, but Oh, a, oh In lockdown again So, no Gifts for the children Covideo killed my Christmas snack bar Covideo killed my Christmas snack bar Tinsel down, remove the star Ho, a, a, ho, ho Now we can only meet via a video Grandma can’t figure out which way the camera goes And cousin Cameron just walked in without his clothes Oh, a no! The favourite grandson Just showed His dick to everyone Video calls and virtual Grandma Video calls and virtual Grandma This year’s Christmas is bizarre We’re together from afar Ho, a ho ho ho Ho, a ho ho ho Covideo killed my Christmas snack bar Covideo killed my Christmas snack bar Tinsel down, remove the star Reindeer cookies back in the jar This year’s Christmas is bizarre We’re together from afar Rona, ruined the snack bar Rona, ruined the snack bar Covideo killed my Christmas snack bar Covideo killed my Christmas snack bar Video calls and virtual Grandma Video calls and virtual Grandma Might as well write a Christmas memoir Or parody songs to give to our ma How long until the joke’s gone too far? Running out of themes so here you are

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released December 24, 2020

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The Van Bloom Brothers Melbourne, Australia

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